


The Best Vision Is Insight

by easilydistractedbyfanfic



Series: Project Insight [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cussing, F/M, Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-22 12:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15581526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/easilydistractedbyfanfic/pseuds/easilydistractedbyfanfic
Summary: What happens when one of the pieces of advanced technology from Becca's lab activates during their time in space, linking Raven & Murphy in a way they never expected? Starts out canon after Season 4 then veers off course.





	1. How it starts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I think it must be a kink of mine to put these two together in situations where they're forced to communicate. This is my latest way to get them to do that. Please note that this is definitely a Murven fic! There's no Emori bashing but if you don't like them breaking up, then don't read any further. All references to torture/violence in this story is based on what happened in the series, and I drop the fbomb a few times. If you are uncomfortable with either of those situations, please don't read any further. 
> 
> However, if you'll take this pairing any way you can get them, like I do, I hope you enjoy this.  
> Story title is a quote by Malcolm Forbes. I own nothing except my imagination.

Raven Reyes looked up from her workstation as she heard the door open, and watched as Murphy nodded in her direction and crossed the threshold, pulling the door closed behind him and interrupting her quiet solitude. It wasn’t unusual for her to be joined by any of the other six residents on the Ring while she was doing repairs or trying to build items they needed, but typically Emori or Murphy were the most likely. There was only so much interior for them to make use of, and being alone wasn’t easy to come by up here. In the last three years, they had all achieved various levels of harmony with each other, and if she had to pick, she preferred Murphy’s company the most, anyway. If she was having a bad day, he could usually make her laugh, and if not that, then she could be a bitch about it with no hard feelings or awkwardness afterwards. And on a good day, like today, they shared an easy companionship that she enjoyed. If anyone had told her years ago that she’d get to a point where she counted Murphy as her best friend, she never would have believed it. 

 

“Hey. Emori and Echo are watching some chick movie for the hundredth time and I just can’t even make the attempt. Monty and Harper are in their room and Bellamy’s staring out the window again,” Murphy leans on the counter in front of her, giving her a pleading look. “ _ Please _ tell me you have something for me to do that’s not completely mindless to pass the time.”

 

She laughs at his dramatics, though it’s not the first time he’s come to her for some busy work and it won’t be the last. “Sure, Murphy, I can find something to occupy you. Although I don’t want to jinx it, we’re in pretty good shape around here right now. I’ve had some time to walk Emori through some emergency steps this week because nothing’s broken down recently. It’s been kind of nice, actually.” She walks over to a cabinet along the wall and opens the doors, perusing the shelves. 

 

“Oh, I know, here - I haven’t looked through this stuff in ages,” Raven pulls out a large bin and brings it back to the table between them. “Jeez, what with all the repair work and priorities we’ve had, I kind of forgot I took all this.”

 

Murphy looks inside the bin and shakes his head when nothing looks familiar. “You’re gonna have to spell it out for us non-geniuses who can only dream about achieving your level of profound knowledge.”

 

“Real cute, tough guy. When we were back in Becca’s lab and packing the rocket, I had some room in some of the equipment containers, so I just started shoving in some of Becca’s tech, even though I didn’t know what everything was. I figured, you never know what we’re gonna need, and maybe I’d get a chance to take it apart or study it.” Raven picks up a piece from the bin, a flat, shiny item about as long as her hand, and puts it on the counter. “I unpacked it all into smaller bins but I’ve been so busy putting out the constant fires around here that I haven’t gotten to it though.”

 

He looks at her with raised eyebrows. “If this is Becca’s tech and _ you _ don’t really know what it does, how the hell am _ I _ gonna help out with it?”

 

She rolls her eyes at him. “I don’t expect brain surgery from you, Murphy, and I know you’re smarter than you like to let on. Just help me sort it all out - let’s put anything together that looks like it might be related - see if you see any serial numbers, dates or markings that look the same. Think of it all as some puzzle pieces and let’s figure out if anything might connect. Could be colors that match, could even just be size or shape. We don’t have to be right about any of it yet but it’ll get this started and there’s another two bins of Becca’s stuff after this one.”

 

“Yeah, alright. This table doesn’t look big enough though. You wanna move to the floor?” Murphy knows Raven always keeps a large area of the floor space clear for when she’s taking apart bigger projects, and he’s helped her out enough to know she prefers an organized work center. When she nods in reply, he carries the bin over near the wall and grabs a couple of spare blankets off another shelf that she keeps around for just this purpose. 

 

Raven lowers herself carefully and tucks her braced leg onto one of the folded blankets to cushion the hard, cold floor, and Murphy takes the other. They work in a companionable silence for almost an hour as they sort the various pieces into something that does seem to look more organized, and he grins to himself when every now and then Raven can’t resist and starts trying to take a few pieces apart right away instead of sorting them into a pile. 

 

He’s just about to open his mouth and ask Raven if she’s noticed that there’s been a change in how Bellamy and Echo have been interacting lately when they both reach into the bin at the same time and he feels their hands overlap around some kind of hard, black cube. Raven meets his eyes and smiles smugly at him and he can feel her fingers smooth over his in preparation to tug the piece out of his grasp, but then she stills her movements and he feels a tingling sensation stemming from the cube. 

 

Murphy’s eyes widen and he sees that Raven looks surprised as well. “You feel that too, right?”

 

“Hell yeah, I feel that! This thing is definitely activating in some way.” She looks at him with a dangerous glint her eye. “What do you say, Murphy, you want to keep holding on or should we let go? This could either be really good or really bad.”

 

“You know me, I never say no to a challenge. This is the most interesting thing that’s happened up here since my algae coma.” He smirks at her and she laughs brightly in response, as the tingling increases up his arm. 

 

“I was hoping you’d say that! Don’t drop it, I want to see what it does.” Raven’s face is shining with excitement and he thinks that no matter what happens with this weird piece of technology, it’s worth it to see Raven enjoying herself and looking more carefree than she has in ages, considering the level of responsibility she has up here on the Ring. 

 

The longer they hold onto the cube, the more the tingling sensation has amplified, and he can feel it throughout his body now. It doesn’t hurt, exactly, but it’s getting more intense with every second. He tightens the muscles in his arms so he won’t let go and watches Raven carefully. She’s having similar reactions to his own - stiffening up and clenching her jaw a bit, but she looks determined as ever. 

 

“You okay, Raven?”

 

She nods breathlessly at him but then gasps loudly, and  _ now _ it’s painful, this tingling, like a wave of hot shocks under his skin. He wants to let go of the cube, to smack it out of her hand immediately, but his fingers won’t respond to his brain and the rest of him feels frozen in place. His eyes rake over her face frantically when he hears her whimper his name, and then it’s like time slows down as he sees her fall to the side, unconscious, hitting her head on the hard floor. 

 

The last, desperate thought he has before he passes out himself is that if anyone has to die for this, it better not be her. 

 

*************************************

 

The next thing he’s aware of is opening his dry eyes to a cool, dark room. He’s laying flat on his back and his throat is horribly sore, and the ceiling above him isn’t familiar. His eyes widen as he remembers Raven falling, the pain from the cube, and he tries to sit up and shout for her, but his body won’t cooperate. Instead he manages just to shift his head to the right and he sees Bellamy slumped over in a chair close by. 

 

Murphy licks his lips and manages a hoarse whisper. “Where’s Raven?” and thankfully it’s enough. 

 

Bellamy stiffens abruptly and practically leaps out of the chair, at Murphy’s side in an instant. “Murphy! Thank fuck, you’re awake! What the hell happened to you two?”

 

Murphy groans at how loud Bellamy sounds. His head is throbbing but that doesn’t matter as he catches Bellamy’s eye. “Where is she?” he rasps. 

 

Bellamy finally notices that Murphy’s having trouble moving, so he reaches out and turns Murphy’s chin so now he’s looking to his left instead, and relief floods through him. She’s lying next to him and while her eyes are closed in sleep, he can see the movements that tell him she’s breathing. The panicked weight in his chest starts to abate and as his body starts to relax, he feels a little more in control. 

 

“Help me sit. I need to wake her up.” Murphy strains his arm muscles and drags his elbows under him so he can shift forward, and with Bellamy’s assistance and some pillows, he can lean over Raven and starts to stroke his hand over hers. 

 

“Murphy! You’ve both been asleep for days, and we’ve all been trying  _ everything _ to wake you both up! Nothing’s worked until you just opened your eyes yourself!” Bellamy’s agitated voice doesn’t do anything to deter him, however, and Murphy just keeps sliding his hand along Raven’s arm, back and forth, as he calmly repeats her name, his voice getting stronger each time he uses it.  

 

To Bellamy’s surprise but not his own, after a few moments Raven’s eyes blink open. Murphy can see the pain and confusion in her expression and links her fingers with his, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. 

 

“Raven, hey, you’re alright, you’re awake now. Bellamy’s here too.” Murphy lowers his tone, knowing that if they’ve really been asleep for days, the noise is too much for her as well. 

 

He watches as she tries to speak and can only just make out her plea. “Thirsty,” Raven whispers. 

 

Murphy turns to Bellamy. “Can you get us both some water?”

 

Bellamy looks at him steadily. “I’ll go get some water, but when I come back, I want some answers. Both of you had us all completely terrified.” With that, he walks quietly out of the room they had designated as a medical clinic, and Murphy figures they only have a few moments before he returns. 

 

He looks back down at Raven and knows that while he still feels weak, some of the stiffness in his limbs is dissipating. He helps prop her up to a sitting position, piling the pillows behind her back so she’ll be able to drink. When he feels her hand come to rest on his own, he stops and meets her wide, glassy eyes. In just that one look, he knows she saw what he did. Well, maybe not exactly the same, he thinks, but then, maybe that was the whole point. 

 

“Are you okay?” His forehead furrows as he frowns at her worriedly, and he rubs a hand up and down her back soothingly, knowing she’s probably not okay at all. Hell, he’s not okay and as everything starts to filter back into his mind, there’s a pretty good chance that ‘okay’ is no longer going to be in his vocabulary. 

 

Raven leans forward just a few inches and rests her forehead on Murphy’s shoulder, and he can feel the tears start to soak through his thin t-shirt. He continues the light ministrations along her back and brings his other arm up around her shoulders, and he hears Bellamy return. 

 

Bellamy looks on in concern as he passes one cup of water and then the other over to Murphy and Raven, and then he walks over and drags the chair closer to them as they both quietly sip. 

 

“I don’t even know where to start,” Bellamy sighs. “You two have been out for almost six full days. Everyone’s been in a panic - I’d go get them all right now but I only just finally convinced them to get some rest about four hours ago and they need it desperately. All I really know is that Emori found you both in Raven’s workshop, passed out on the floor. We don’t know how long you were like that, but Emori said it had been at least three hours or so since she had last seen you, Murphy. She screamed for me and we all carried you both here. We had you on seperate gurneys at first, trying to check you over, but Monty said both your vitals were spiking like crazy. It was by accident that we figured out you both calmed down when we pushed you closer together. So we put you in the same bed, and your heart rates and blood pressure have been stable since then. You both just looked like you’ve been asleep the whole time...well, except for the crying parts.” 

 

Murphy raises a brow. “What crying parts?”

 

“Just like she’s doing right now,” Bellamy nods at Raven, who had finished her water and placed her head back on his shoulder, but has had tears streaming down her face the entire time. “You two have had on and off periods where you’re crying in your sleep, but quietly. Maybe you both can imagine how completely lost I am right about now, so I think I’m due some answers.”

 

Raven clears her throat and pulls Murphy’s arm down between them so it rests on her lap instead, and she laces her fingers with his. “Let me start,” she requests, and proceeds to tell Bellamy about how she’d brought some of Becca’s lab equipment up to the Ring and that they were sorting through it when it all went out of control. 

 

“Don’t be mad at Murphy, Bellamy. I pushed him to keep holding on to that cube.” Raven reveals. 

 

“That’s not true at all,” Murphy interrupts her. “I  _ wanted _ to keep holding on to it so we could find out what it did.” He’s not about to let Raven take the blame for this when he knows he was a willing participant. 

 

“There’s plenty of blame for  _ both of you _ ,” Bellamy lectures. “Damn it, Raven, you should know better than this! You’re supposed to be the responsible one, remember?” He looks at her reproachfully and then turns a disappointed frown on Murphy. “And  _ you _ ! You  _ know _ she gets carried away with her gadgets but you just egged her on, didn’t you? We could have found two dead bodies in there instead of just unconscious ones! Jesus, I don’t even know what that cube did to you yet and I’m already itching to strangle you both.”

 

Murphy and Raven exchange a glance and shift a little closer together in support. “I’ll take this part,” Murphy volunteers. “We haven’t talked about it yet, but from what’s in my brain, I’m pretty sure that cube gave us a bunch of… well, I guess ‘memories’ might be the best word, from the other person. But it’s more than just memories, it’s also the feelings and some of the thoughts that the other person experienced too.” Murphy’s mouth tightens into a frown as he feels a shiver run through Raven at his words. 

 

“Like all their memories?” Bellamy asks. 

 

Raven swallows the lump in her throat and looks at Murphy. “No. Mostly just the bad memories, and for me they’ve only been since he landed on Earth.”

 

“Yeah, it’s since Earth here, too.” Murphy’s jaw clenched tightly with his statement. 

 

Bellamy runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “So what you’re telling me, is that you both touched the same object from Becca’s lab, it sent some weird shocks through your body til you passed out, you were in essentially a coma - your  _ second coma _ , Murphy - for six days, and now that you’ve woken up, you each somehow have the others’ memories in your heads, but really just the ones full of trauma. Is this what you’re telling me?” Bellamy’s practically hissing by the time he gets to the end of his question. 

 

Raven nods sadly and Murphy just closes his eyes, and Raven can feel him grasp her hand more firmly. They really can’t sit much closer than they already are, but Raven wants to just lay back down and try to breathe away this pounding headache with her head on Murphy’s shoulder. There are so many disturbing scenes running through her mind right now, and it’s hard to concentrate on the conversation with Bellamy. 

 

“How are you both feeling, physically, right now?” It’s clear Bellamy’s trying to calm down, and Raven knows it’s hard for him, so she speaks up before Murphy can, sensing he’s coming to the end of his emotional control. 

 

“Terrible headache, sore throat, my eyes are really dry and my body feels weak. And I have a really big knot on my head.” Raven responds, fingers lifting to the large bump on her head that probably came from hitting her head on the floor when she passed out. 

 

“Same,” Murphy mutters, with his eyes still closed.

 

“Alright, it sounds like dehydration in addition to lying in bed for six days. I’ll bring you a pitcher of water, which I want you to  _ drink _ , and I’ll give you about two hours before I wake everyone else up. Discuss this… situation, or rest, or whatever, but I need to go take a nap and the rest of the group is going to want some answers when they come in.” He stands and walks a few steps to the door, then turns. “It probably goes without saying, but I’m really glad you’re both awake.” 

 

Raven gives Bellamy a tired smile. “We know. It’s just… a lot going through our heads right now. Thanks for keeping an eye on us, and we are sorry we scared everybody.”

 

Bellamy nods appreciatively and heads out, returning briefly with the promised pitcher of water. He looks over at the two on the bed, in the same upright position as when he left, and pulls the door quietly closed behind him. 

 

Murphy sighs and refills their water cups, passing one to Raven. He finishes first and lays down on the cot, arm flung up over his eyes. Raven leans over him and sets her own empty cup on the table beside him, then fixes the pillows behind her, before laying down and staring up at the ceiling herself. 

 

There’s a tense silence between them for a little while, and Raven’s nerves are so brittle she thinks they might shatter. It feels like she has thousands of new memories inside her mind, and they all involve something very, very horrible happening to Murphy. She turns her head towards him, tears filling her eyes once again, and though she’s uncertain of his reaction, she scoots closer and rolls to her right side so she can face him. She needs some reassurance that he’s there with her, safe, and not beaten and bloody like so many of the scenes flashing behind her eyes. 

 

Sensing her watching him, Murphy lowers his arm and rolls on his left side to face her, his own eyes fierce as he regards her. “Raven. These images in my head… this is so fucked up. It’s like I’m remembering and reliving things  _ as _ you, but I’m also seeing things happen  _ to _ you, even when I wasn’t actually present. There’s memories of your pain but that’s duller, like my own memories of pain are. But then there’s also your own thoughts and feelings outside of the pain you felt mixed in with these memories now, like what you were thinking while it happened,  _ and _ my reactions to what I’m seeing, so for all of these moments, it’s like everything is fucking magnified and so damned  _ intense _ ….” Murphy trails off despairingly. 

 

She’s nodding in horrified agreement the whole time he’s spitting out this wretched description of what they’re experiencing, and she doesn’t know which one of them is reaching for the other first, but finally, finally, they come together and she gets to wrap her arms around her friend and bury her face between his neck and his shoulder and just console herself with the fact that he’s here, despite all of it, and he’s solid and real underneath her cheek. And then there’s no holding back the sobs inside her anymore, since it somehow feels safe to let them out. 

 

Murphy holds her as tightly as he can, trying to convince himself that she’s okay and has survived the traumatic memories playing along like some kind of gruesome movie in his subconscious. It’s selfish, maybe, but he wants her closer to him, as if he could prevent anything further from happening to her if only he holds on and doesn’t let go. He gently wedges his right leg between her knees, and he can feel that someone must have removed her brace while they’ve been in the clinic. He reaches down and lifts her leg up a little higher on his so she won’t be at an awkward angle, and then cradles the back of her head against his shoulder as she cries. 

 

“Shhhh…I know...it’s all in the past.” He murmurs to her and eventually they both drift off, exhausted. 

 

*******************************************

 

Bellamy silently opens the door to the makeshift med clinic they’ve set up, thankful that the rest of their group has actually gotten some sleep and no one has beaten him to the room yet. It hasn’t been long since he left them, but he feels better after a short nap. 

 

He crosses the room to wake up Murphy and Raven, but stops when he reaches the end of the bed. Murphy’s laying on his back with Raven pressed against his side and her head on his chest. He’s got his arms wrapped around her and her fist is knotted in his t-shirt in what looks to be a death grip. 

 

“Yeah,” he mutters to himself, “this isn’t going to cause  _ any _ problems around here.”

 

Bellamy pours some of the water into the two cups on the side table, relieved to see they’d at least gotten a portion of it down since he’d last been in the room. He nudges Murphy’s arm and waits, knowing that Murphy is a relatively light sleeper. 

 

Murphy wakes abruptly, taking in his surroundings quickly without much movement. He nods at Bellamy and takes the cup, draining it greedily, and then drinks down the other cup, all without disturbing Raven. When he finishes, he gently extracts himself from Raven’s surprisingly tight grasp, and sits at the end of the bed. Bellamy pulls over the chair so they can talk while letting Raven sleep. 

 

“Got yourself into a bit of a mess, haven’t you?” Bellamy observed sarcastically. 

 

Murphy scowls warningly at him. “Don’t fucking start with me this early. My head is still pounding and I am in no mood for one of your lectures.”

 

“Well you definitely look like shit.” Bellamy doesn’t typically criticize, but honestly, Murphy has deep bags under his eyes and he looks even paler than usual, which is no small feat. 

 

“You try having real-life torture scenes from one of your best friends running through your head without any way to control it and see how pretty you still look.” Murphy snaps harshly, but Bellamy knows it’s less about him and more about the situation. 

 

Murphy groans, resting his head in his hands. “Sorry. It’s real fucking bad in here right now.” He pulls his hair tightly through his fists as he speaks. 

 

Bellamy reaches out a hand and grips Murphy’s shoulder. “You both have had more than your share of trauma. I can only imagine how awful it is for you and Raven. Anything you need, you know the rest of us will try to help.” He watches Murphy nod briefly then continues. “You’ve got about ten minutes and I’ll wake up the gang and they’re gonna burst in here with a hundred questions. You get Raven up, and get her to drink some water. I’ll bring more when I come back.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll wake her.” Murphy agrees and Bellamy heads out, this time leaving the door open. Murphy goes into the attached small bathroom to use the facilities, then refills the water cups again. He sits on the side of the bed and gazes at Raven for a few moments, thinking about how peaceful she looks now as opposed to the image of her tied up in the Grounder camp after Finn died, her hands over her head as a knife slices repeatedly into her delicate skin, blood immediately oozing to the surface. His jaw tightens in frustration and he shakes his head, trying to dislodge the vision, but it’s no use. It’s almost like it deliberately slowed down in his brain, and he feels both the sting of the knife from Raven’s memory as well as her agony that none of her friends were stopping it, and added onto that is his own rage at both what she went through and the desire to see someone punished for allowing that to happen to her. 

 

He takes a deep breath, wanting to calm down in order to wake her before everyone barges in on them. Murphy reaches out and runs his hand over Raven’s shoulder, bare due to her tank top. He felt some of the rage inside him subside a bit at the gesture, so he does it again, and yep, he feels calmer, like he wasn’t about to hit someone anymore, which is a relief. He squeezes her shoulder gently and her eyes slowly open. 

 

Watching her smile sleepily at him also does a good bit to reduce his fury, so it’s not a difficult task to smile back. “Everyone’s gonna be here in a few minutes. There’s a water cup on the table for you, and a bit of water left in the pitcher if you want to use it to wash your face. Bellamy will bring more when he comes back in so make sure you keep drinking.” When she sits up and slides her legs to the edge of the bed, he remembers she’s not wearing her brace, and he walks around to scan the room for it. He spots it on another table and brings it over to her. 

 

Raven starts to wrap the brace around her leg and glances at him from the corner of her eye. “No chance we can put off this chat with everyone and just go back to bed, huh?” Her voice is still husky with sleep and Murphy can see she has her own dark undereye circles to show she’s not well rested, and everyone will be able to tell she’s been crying. 

 

Murphy huffs out a laugh and pays careful attention as she makes her way to the bathroom, wanting to be sure her legs are steady after days of disuse, but although she’s stiff, she crosses the room on her own. “You know Bellamy, he’s already got the plan in motion, so we’re stuck with it whether we like it or not.” He makes an effort to straighten the sheet into something more tidy. His fingers twitch over the edge of the blanket nervously as he pulls it up and he sits back down heavily on his side of the bed. It’s one thing to tell Bellamy about what happened, but he’s never liked having any of his personal details shared with others, and despite having a genuine appreciation for everyone stuck on the Ring with him, he’d much prefer keeping this situation private.

 

He sighs and watches Raven return, fingers trying to comb out the snarls in her hair as she makes her way over to the bed and sits to face him. “Pass me that water while you tell me why you’ve got that brooding look on your face,” she demands. 

 

She’s got that haughty do-what-I-say-or-regret-it tone that he knows so well, and he figures there’s no point trying to put her off this time, so he gives her the cup and as she drinks, he elaborates. “We don’t even have a handle on this ourselves, but now it’s gonna be a topic for everybody to discuss and weigh in on.” 

 

Murphy shrugs like maybe it doesn’t matter, but Raven knows better. “Hey. Look at me. We don’t need to tell them anything beyond how this happened. Neither one of us has willingly talked about most of the stuff we’ve been through, and I know you’re not about to start and I’m not planning to either.” She stares at him resolutely and he has just a moment to admire once again how tenacious she is before the room explodes with noise as the rest of their friends rush in and his arms are full of Emori. 

 

***************************************************

 

Hours later, Murphy finds himself once again lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling. This time, it’s in his and Emori’s room, and she’s sleeping beside him. As tired as he actually is, there’s no way he’s going to relax any time soon. He’s tense and almost vibrating with outrage due to the most recent of Raven’s terrible memories running through his mind. 

 

He looks over at Emori, glad she’s able to sleep. He was grateful for her attentiveness all day but feels guilty that his mind is occupied elsewhere. After the group had piled into the med clinic, Raven had mostly filled everyone in on the details of what had happened, and their response had been supportive, although there were some questions that Murphy had been glad that Raven deflected. 

 

Monty had agreed that although the cube and the crashes to the floor were probably to blame for their headache symptoms, they were also likely dehydrated as well, so with just a warning to keep drinking water all day, they had been released from the med clinic and taken straight to the common area for Monty’s specialty - algae soup. Murphy was hungry enough to eat it without complaint, but he noticed that Raven barely touched hers until he lobbed an insult her way and then she ate a bit more just to spite him, rather than because she was actually hungry. He didn’t care - he’d gotten her to eat it, which was his goal to begin with. 

 

After that,he heard Echo and Harper convince Raven to watch some comedy shows with them, and Emori had pulled him back to their room. He hadn’t seen anyone else since then. He’d apologized for worrying her so much, but found it difficult to explain just why he was so distracted. It was clear enough to say that he had so many memories belonging to Raven in his head now, but trying to describe how they sometimes just flashed into his mind and they were all he could focus on was tougher when he wanted to respect Raven’s privacy too. Emori had fallen into an exhausted sleep about an hour ago, and Murphy had been lying awake, trying to deliberately relax his muscles. 

 

It wasn’t working, though. Instead of feeling less agitated, he could tell he was getting more worked up, so he decided to carefully get out of bed and make his way to the room that they used for exercise. Echo and Bellamy had set up a makeshift heavy bag there, and Murphy started wrapping his knuckles with the fabric scraps they used, figuring he could take out some of his frustrations. At his first punch, he finally felt some satisfaction and a grim smile crossed his face. Yeah, this would do. 

  
  


*****************************************

 

Raven smashed her pillow in yet another attempt to get comfortable, but she was starting to suspect it was no use. It had been sweet of Harper and Echo to nag her into watching some funny shows with them, and it had taken her mind off things for a while. But eventually she’d begged off, citing that she was tired, and she knew she looked the part so they hadn’t needed much convincing to let her go back to her room, as long as she’d promised she’d stay hydrated. 

 

At first it had felt good to get some some quiet and she’d layed down fully expecting to sleep, but soon after closing her eyes, she was assaulted with the very real, very graphic memories of Murphy being tortured for three days in the Grounder camp soon after they’d all arrived on Earth. She only felt the dull echoes of his pain, but it was all still there, and the strange feeling of both experiencing it as Murphy had, as well as somehow watching it happen to him, was enough to turn her stomach. When one of the Grounders had started to press rocks hot from the campfire to Murphy’s back, she could hear him scream, no longer able to hold it in, and then she could also actually smell the scent of his flesh as it burned, and she quickly rolled to her side and heaved, vomiting up water and bile into the trashcan on the side of her bed, tears streaming down her face. 

 

She gulped in a few deep breaths and wiped her mouth, forcing her body to calm down as best she could. If her limited experiences so far were anything to go on, she’d get flashes of extremely dark memories, like this one, but then she’d have a sort of downtime where she might feel a few random, inexplicable feelings that she knew were not her own, but she’d probably be spared the visual gruesomeness for a little while. Raven sighed heavily. Her stomach felt awful and she was going to need to take the waste bin to their kitchen area to scrub it out, if she wanted a sink deep enough to fit it into. 

 

Raven’s chin jutted out stubbornly as she fit her brace back onto her leg and started to make her way to the kitchen. One thing she’d always been good at - getting shit done that needed to be done. 

 

**********************************************

 

Murphy dropped to the padded floor, sweating profusely. His hands and knuckles would be sore later, but he’d managed to take out the majority of his rage on the heavy bag, so it was a worthwhile sacrifice. He untangled the cloth from between his fingers and around his palm, realizing that although a good bit of the anger was gone, he was still left with the painful memories of the most recent flashes of what had happened to Raven. He wondered if she had managed to fall asleep or if she was struggling as much as he was. Murphy decided to go by the kitchen for some water, and then he’d pass by her door to see if he could hear anything. 

 

He heard splashing sounds near the sink as he walked into the kitchen area, and mentally groaned at the idea of having to talk to someone else, but he was thirsty enough to have to risk it. As he approached, he was relieved to see it was Raven, and she turned to look at him over her shoulder as he filled a cup from the communal water pitcher. She sent him a pinched smile and went back to focusing on whatever was in the sink. 

 

“I’d make a joke that you look a little green around the gills, but since you haven’t eaten enough algae lately to make that happen, tell me what’s really going on.” He leans against the counter and sees her back stiffen slightly. 

 

“I’m fine, Murphy.” Raven doesn’t turn around. 

 

“Liar.” Murphy accuses her gently, knowing from experience that if he pushes her too hard she’ll just storm out of the room and he’ll have to chase her. He hears her take a few deep breaths, and then she spins to face him and he can tell she must have had a pretty bad memory because she’s looking everywhere but at him. 

 

“Fine. I’ll tell you about it, but not here where someone could just come in and hear me. Walk me back to my room?” She sounds defeated and he doesn’t like that one bit. 

 

“Yeah, c’mon.” Murphy takes the trash can from her hands and follows her down the corridor. 

 

***********************************************

 

They drop the bin back to her room but end up sitting on the floor near everyone’s favorite big window, backs pressed against one of the computer consoles and legs stretched in front of them as they gaze out at the view of Earth. She’s quiet at first and he wonders if she’ll end up bottling it inside after all, but he lifts his arm around her shoulder and tugs her closer, and when she tips her head onto his left shoulder, he knows she’ll tell him. He doesn’t know if it’s something that the cube did to him with the memory swap, or if it’s a result of the terrible memories themselves, but being in her presence and physically touching her eases something compressed inside him and it feels like he’s getting enough air into his lungs again. 

 

“I puked in the trash can.” Raven mumbles into his shoulder. 

 

“I kinda figured that.” He grins down at her fondly. “Did it make you feel any better?”

 

“Not really,” Raven chews her lip, unsure how to proceed. “I saw what they did to you - I  _ felt _ what they did, those Grounders, years ago when they captured you and eventually sent you back to the Dropship with that sickness.”

 

She feels Murphy’s body tense up beneath her, but then he seems to force himself to relax again. “Yep, that’s a bad one. Still have nightmares about that sometimes.”

 

“I can’t wrap my mind around how you even survived all that, Murphy. It was  _ three days _ that they tortured you…” she trails off, every single memory from it still fresh in her mind, and she reaches out and grabs his right arm, pulling it towards her so she can link her hand with his. She remembers how they pulled his fingernails out, excruciatingly, but now his hand was here in her lap looking just fine, except for some redness around his knuckles. He was so close to death in that camp, she knows that now, and despite the absolute awfulness of it all, the scariest thing is thinking about how different things would be if that had really happened. 

 

“Hey, I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to think about it. Remember all this happened kind of long ago now… It feels like a different life, even. I’m not that easy to kill - innate survivor’s instinct, I guess.” Murphy squeezes her hand. “And anyway, I think you’d recognize that, considering some of the things you’ve been through.”

 

He rubs his hand along her shoulder, encouraging her to look up at him. When she does, he’s got a spooked look in his eyes that she’s only ever seen from him once before. Her forehead crinkles in confusion. 

 

“Were you ever going to tell anyone what happened to you in Becca’s lab?” he asks. 

 

And at that, she knows where she’s seen it before, that haunted look. It’s how he looked at her when she told him she was dying and that she had forgiven him for shooting her. It’s one of the few things she really clearly remembers from that time period before she got ALIE completely out of her head - other things are pretty blurry in that lab. Her stomach clenches, remembering telling him goodbye and later, exactly what she had to do there in order to survive. “I told Abby a little bit, so she could try to get ALIE out of her head too. But not all of it. You have to think of it the same way you just told me - it’s done, it’s over. I’m still here.” She wants to reassure him, but her voice trembles, because this is something she still has nightmares about too, and she knows she’s started to cry again. 

 

“You  _ died _ , Raven… I felt it happen. And if I shut my eyes, I can see you in that pool of water, lifeless. It’s like a fucking eternity until that machine shocks your heart, and I know how hard you fought that survivor’s instinct in order to  _ drown yourself _ , and then how hard you fought to drag yourself out of the water and across the floor to shock yourself again. You were dead, and you were all alone, except for feeling Sinclair with you. Thank god you had that support. I keep seeing it happen, over and over, and even though I know you’re right here, it’s so real. I’m proud of you for pulling that insane plan off, but I am also so fucking mad at you for doing it.” Murphy’s grip on her shoulder is hard enough to be painful, but she knows he’s not aware of it, so she lets go of his hand and turns towards him so it’s easier to give him a hug, and both his arms come around her more gently now. 

 

This time it’s Murphy who rests his head on  _ her _ shoulder, and though he speaks very quietly, she can just make out his words. “Don’t ever risk yourself like that again, you hear me?” 

 

All she can do is swallow the lump in her throat and nod.


	2. How It Continues

The next month is rough. Neither of them are getting any kind of solid sleep, and Bellamy has started taking turns nagging them both much more frequently than usual. Raven’s not exactly sure of the details, but she gathers that she and Murphy had fallen asleep together, that night by the window, and Emori had found them the next morning. That was the last night she’d felt rested at all, and she’s barely been near Murphy since, because now she feels awkward and awful with the thought that she may have caused some kind of problem between them.

 

She barricades herself up in her workshop a lot, though she’s carefully cleaned up Becca’s technology and stored them again, a lot of it actually sorted out better than before due to what she and Murphy had accomplished. She doesn’t tell anyone, but at first she couldn’t find the black cube anywhere, until she lays on the floor on her stomach and sees that it rolled under a cabinet. She thinks about leaving it there but then determines it should be locked up for safekeeping, so she finds something she can poke it with to force it out and it bounces across the floor, landing near her wrist. Raven stares at the dark object that’s changed her life for a long while before deciding that she’s just going to pick it up herself. Murphy and Bellamy would probably kill her if they knew, but she holds it in her palm for a little while and nothing happens. She understands she should probably hate what the cube has done to her, but her feelings about it are so complicated. Eventually she places it inside a small case and sticks it into the back of her personal cabinet that locks, and decides to mentally do the same thing with her ambivalence.

 

Raven spends a lot of time with Echo and Harper, and she finds out that Murphy’s in the gym most nights, beating up on the heavy bag. If not that, he’s running with Bellamy. She thinks they both have found their ways to cope, but she misses him and Emori, too. She’s trying to stay away, to be a good friend and give them their space, but every night is so horrible and the lack of sleep is taking its toll. She doesn’t know if it was the cube that did it or just her own desire to reassure herself, but the only thing that had helped before was being around Murphy, touching him or sleeping near him, and now there was none of that to help mitigate all the stress from the memories. Sometimes the images were random, out of order, hard to figure out, but other times entire mini-movies played before her eyes. The one thing they had in common was that they were all dreadful and left her feeling sick and alone.

 

Murphy was gonna owe her so big when they finally got this all figured out, she’d concluded. She was turning into a fucking mess who could barely concentrate on some of the smaller repairs she was working on when the harder days hit. She imagined storming into the exercise area when she thought he might be in there and just giving him a piece of her mind about how he was ignoring her pain and she was furious about it, and what kind of friend was he being, anyway, but then after she yelled at him, she’d throw herself into his arms and squeeze him tight to remind herself that he’d survived all these terrible things she’s seeing. But she doesn’t want to ever make someone else feel excluded or unwanted, like she had felt so long ago when she’d found out Finn had gotten involved with Clarke, and since Emori and Murphy won’t talk to her, won’t even come near her anymore, she figures that _has_ to be the problem, that somehow Emori thinks Raven did this on purpose or there’s some other misunderstanding about it all but Murphy’s been trying to fix things this whole time and soon she’ll have her friend back again...

 

One night she goes to the kitchen, late, and only Emori is there, so she tells her that she misses her and that she’s really sorry for anything she’s done to hurt their friendship. Emori doesn’t leave, so she keeps going, and self-deprecatingly laughs about how she doesn’t know how it happened but Murphy is her closest friend and she would never want to come between them. It’s a huge relief when Emori hugs her, but she can tell there’s still some kind of wedge there, and Emori doesn’t say much in return except to ask her some questions about how she thinks the black cube worked.

 

She tries not to take it too personally. She tries to put herself in Emori’s shoes and thinks that if she had a partner who was somehow sharing private and personal memories with someone else, she’d be upset too. But in reality, it’s been so long since Raven has had any kind of romantic relationship that she doesn’t really know if that’s how she’d react or not, so she pushes it out of her head and tries to focus on just getting through one night at a time when she’s so exhausted and lonely.

 

***********************************

 

Bellamy is at his wit’s end. Murphy is driving him absolutely fucking crazy and Raven’s not that much better. It’s been just past a month since they’d touched that damn cube, and as far as he can tell, they’ve both only gotten worse.

 

Between worrying about them and the serious lack of sleep they’re suffering from and trying to keep an eye on them each day and making sure they eat, he’s spread a little too thin. Murphy pushes himself physically to try and get control over what’s going through his head, and Bellamy’s been doing his best to be there for him, he really has, but another three AM run around the Ring is going to make him snap. And Raven, with her damn “I’m fine, Bellamy” in that sarcastic tone of hers any time he tries to get her to talk about how she’s feeling or how she’s not eating enough, is surely going to break anyone at this point, right?

 

He sighs. For the millionth time, he thinks about Clarke. So it’s probably no wonder that when he goes to talk to Emori to try and get this shit fixed, he’s not in a great mood and it doesn’t go so well.

 

*****************************************

 

A week later, Raven’s at her counter working on assembling spare parts to try and build a new radio when Murphy comes through the door. She’s so startled to see him, she just stays frozen on her stool and watches as he walks over and sits across from her. There’s a pang in her chest at how tired he looks, although she knows she’s not doing well in that department either. She’s just been avoiding the few mirrors the Ring holds in order to deny that fact to herself.

 

They’re silent for a while, but it’s surprisingly not awkward as they regard each other carefully. They’ve only caught glimpses of each other for the last month and the last time they’d really talked, it was emotional and overwhelming. Yet every night she knows they’re each reliving some of the worst things that have ever happened to each other. Her life is pretty fucked up at this point, but even she never saw _this_ coming. She laughs and shakes her head at this ridiculous scenario, and Murphy looks at her expectantly, eyebrows raised.

 

“Just thinking about what a fucked up situation this is,” she says, shrugging half-heartedly.

 

“Yeah, but I think we might both actually have a knack for getting into those.” Murphy’s familiar smirk spreads across his face, and oh, she’s missed that. She smiles sadly and reaches her hand across the table, palm up, and when Murphy fits his hand to hers, the relief that washes over her at the contact is so strong she almost slides off her stool.

 

“Me, too,” Murphy’s shoulders loosen at their touch but he grips her hand tighter so she doesn’t fall. “Now can we _please_ go take a fucking nap?”

 

“Oh my god, yes! Hurry up!” Raven moves so quickly to the door she almost forgets to turn off the light. She doesn’t stop to ask, just leads him to her own room and pushes the door open. He follows and pulls it shut, and it’s dark and cool inside, and for the first time in weeks, it feels welcoming instead of a place she dreads going. They get their shoes off and she fumbles with her brace while Murphy yanks the blankets down. They climb under the covers in their day clothes and she couldn’t care less how comfortable she is, she’s just desperate for some real rest. Murphy doesn’t seem to care either because he only unbuttons his jeans instead of pulling them off.

 

She turns on her side to face Murphy, and he rolls to face her. Like magnets, they gravitate to each other in the shadows, and she barely hears him mumble about Bellamy knowing what they were doing and that everyone would leave them alone and then she’s finally, blissfully, asleep without dreams.  

 

***********************************************

 

Raven wakes up, with no reference for what time it is or how long they’ve been in bed, but she feels so much _better_ and she knows it’s the first time she’s gotten genuine restorative sleep since the last time Murphy slept near her. She stretches a bit and feels him at her back, his arm around her waist, and his knees tucked behind hers. His sleepy voice rumbles near her ear, telling her it’s too early to get up.

 

She looks over her shoulder and whispers back. “I won’t get up yet but my leg is aching. I have to change positions.”

 

Murphy rolls to his back, tugging her with him, and when she’s on her right side again, she sighs with relief to have her weight off of her leg. Murphy’s stubbornly refused to open his eyes, but he reaches over and clumsily grips her calf to pull it towards him, then slides his hand along her pants to her thigh and massages it for her.

 

Raven supposes she could be embarrassed by the moan she makes, but she’s too relaxed to care. “I take back every horrible thing I’ve ever said about you, Murphy,” she murmurs contentedly.

 

“Call me anything you want, just as long as you go back to sleep,” Murphy yawns.

 

So she rests her arm across his chest and snuggles her face into his shoulder, because what he wants happens to be what she wants, too.

 

******************************************

 

Murphy’s not surprised to learn that they slept for almost fifteen hours. Compared to all the sleepless nights of the last month, it’s not exactly balancing out yet, but he’s pretty sure he can add ‘champion sleeper’ to the list of things he’s good at. He’s been staring at her ceiling for a little while now and is unsurprised to see she’s sketched a rough drawing of the solar system up there, imagining that she’s contemplating space and all its unsolved puzzles before she falls asleep each night. He feels her stir against his side and he watches as she wakes up.

 

Raven rests her elbow on his chest and props her chin in her hand as she looks curiously at him, her eyes foggy with sleep. “So, how do you think this works? If we always sleep together will we have no nightmare memories and actually get rest?”

 

He tilts his head, considering. “I dunno, maybe. We haven’t been able to test it out well enough yet. Other than that shared coma it knocked us into, this is only the second night we’ve managed to be near each other. But every night that I _didn’t_ sleep with you, I had a nightmare or just couldn’t sleep at all and _still_ got the flashes.”

 

“Yeah, same for me.” She pokes at a wet spot on his t-shirt. “Sorry, looks like I drooled on you while I was sleeping. Did you have different dreams every night, like I did?”

 

“Your spit is the least of my concerns, don’t worry about it. And uh, no, my dreams weren’t different.” Murphy doesn’t meet her eyes so she knows for sure something’s up.

 

“Wait, you had the same nightmare every night, for the whole month?” Raven sits up further, her interest piqued. “Which one of my memories was it?”

 

He throws his arm over his eyes and pouts. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Jesus, you can be as dramatic as Bellamy, you know that?” Raven rolls her eyes at him even though he’s not looking, then proceeds to pry his arm away from his eyes. “You have to talk about it, those are the rules.”

 

“I never agreed to any rules, Reyes, so we’re not talking about it.”

 

Raven narrows her eyes. Oh, so he thinks he’s going to be stubborn about it… well, two can play that game. She adjusts her elbow carefully where it still rests on his chest, and then uses her weight to dig it in, just enough to get his attention.

 

“Ow! Fuck, Raven! That’s cheating!” Murphy rubs the now-tender spot and glares at her.

 

“I’m not gonna play fair until you tell me what I want to know, so you might as well just give in - you know I mean it.” Raven lifts her eyebrows at him in anticipation.

 

“Fine. Fine!” Murphy scowls at her. “Although if you thought about it you could probably guess it yourself.”

 

“I want _you_ to tell me.” Raven knows he’s not going to feel better unless he talks about it, the stubborn fool, but sometimes he just refuses to help himself so she has to do it for the benefit of both of them.

 

He exhales loudly and makes her wait, but eventually his forlorn blue eyes meet hers and she knows, she _knows_ which memory keeps replaying for him, _damn_ it.

 

“Except for last night, every night for the past fucking month I get to relive when I shot you, but the really fucked up thing is that this is already one of my own nightmares since I’m the one who did it. So now it’s like I’m experiencing it from your perspective, my perspective _and_ some weird eye-in-the-sky perspective where I see both of us. I’m both you being hit by the bullet and screaming on the operating table having the bullet dug out of you-us-me, I don’t know - and I’m also me sitting outside in the hallway listening to you-us-me scream. It’s surreal and confusing and I can feel all the hate you have for me and it just keeps repeating, every night, every time I’ve tried to sleep.”

 

“No. No, no, no.” Raven’s shaking her head at him firmly. “I don’t _have_ hate for you, I _had_ hate. I haven’t felt that way for a long time. I told you I forgave you years ago and I meant it, you _know that_ . Your mind has been lying to you - you shouldn’t have been reliving this every night! Why didn’t you come get me? I could have forced you to talk about this before now and you would’ve felt better! Or at least we could’ve slept near each other and you would’ve gotten a break or something. You shouldn’t have put up with this one, what were you _thinking_?”

 

Raven rubs her hand across her eyes, blinking back angry tears. She’s furious at herself for not realizing this sooner, that _of fucking course_ John Murphy would be having issues surrounding the memory of her gunshot wound, but the whole situation is just so rarely in her head anymore.

 

“Clearly, I wasn’t thinking very well, but in my defense, I also wasn’t getting very much sleep.” Murphy’s sarcasm is normally one of her favorite things about him, but right now she just can’t take it. She twists her hand in his t-shirt and pulls him towards her as she sits up so they’re more eye to eye. She wants him to see the truth of her words for once.

 

“Damn it, Murphy, no! This is serious, you don’t get to make jokes right now! Listen to me, this whole scenario didn’t even occur to me, and do you know _why_ it didn’t? Because I don’t associate you with my leg, I almost never think about getting shot, or how it happened or who did it. You reacted in anger back then, you didn’t know it was me under the Dropship and you didn’t even know that you had hit me. We’re both different people from who we were then. I’m not exactly innocent in this whole relationship either, remember? Just because you might understand _why_ I did something awful to you doesn’t make it right. I’ve accepted my injury as just part of who I am, and the only time I really think about my leg now is when it’s hurting, or when there’s those few times when I can’t do something because of it. I _need_ you to understand this, Murphy. Not only did I forgive you a long time ago, but I don’t even _care_ anymore that you shot me. We may have started our weird understanding because of what happened, but we’re so far beyond that now. Honestly, if you gave me a choice about you shooting me so we could end up as friends, or you never shooting me but we had no relationship, then I would pick the bullet, every fucking time! Don’t you get that? You have _got_ to find a way to forgive yourself, do you understand me?”

 

Murphy’s eyes have widened on hers as her lecture got longer and louder, and when she’s finished, she thinks maybe she’s finally gotten through to him as he shakily pulls her into a crushing embrace and breathes out a hoarse “thank you” into her shoulder. They stay like that for a while, neither one ready to let go.

 

****************************************************

 

When they do eventually head out of her room to the kitchen to get their algae rations and some water, they don’t run into anyone else and Murphy suggests Bellamy has probably warned everyone to stay clear of them until they catch up on some sleep. Which honestly suits Raven just fine, because barring any issues on the Ring, she could probably lay back down and sleep another fifteen hours right about now.

 

“Hey.” Murphy kicks her ankle underneath the common room table to get her attention.

 

“What are you, five?” she frowns. “I’m in the middle of imagining this algae sludge is that venison stew thing we ate on Becca’s island when Clarke wanted to make nightblood, don’t disturb me.”

 

Murphy gives her a genuine grin. “You know who made that, right?”

 

“No, who?” Raven asks.

 

“I did,” he replies smugly.

 

“Really? You’ll have to forgive me for not remembering since my mind was hijacked by artificial intelligence at the time. I do remember liking the food I ate then, so thanks for that… wait! How come you’re not doing something to this disgusting algae since you know how to cook?”

 

“Oh, there’s no way I’m touching this stuff. It can’t be made better and I’m not sacrificing my reputation as a culinary genius by working with it.”

 

“I had no idea you were such a food snob, Murphy.” Raven laughs at his offended tone.

 

“Well, nobody can afford to be picky up here. Anyway, I wanted to ask you - since you didn’t know I was avoiding you due to feeling fucked up from that nightmare, what did you think was going on? It occurs to me that maybe I should be mad. Why didn’t _you_ come talk to _me_ for a whole damn month?”

 

Raven finishes and pushes her empty bowl aside. “Honestly, I got the impression that Emori was upset that morning she found us asleep by the big window, and I thought that maybe there was a misunderstanding or something. Neither of you were coming around the workshop any more, she wasn’t joining the rest of us girls for a movie night, everything felt really distant… so I just thought that _she_ thought that I had tried to come between you two or something. I was trying to give you both space to work it out, but don’t think for a minute that I wasn’t pissed off at you for not making me feel better.”

 

He glares at her with an exasperated look on his face. “That’s not wrong… but it’s not exactly right either. You’re such a fucking martyr, it’s ridiculous. I don’t even know how we get along.” Murphy pauses and gets up to carry their bowls and spoons to the sink, then grabs their cups. “Let’s take some water back to your room. If we try to fall back asleep now, we’ll probably wake up around regular time and can get back on the same schedule as everybody else.”

 

They walk back to her room but Murphy hesitates before entering. “I need to go get something more comfortable to sleep in, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

 

“Fine, but knock when you come back, I’m going to put pajamas on this time, too.” Raven responds, and takes the waters into her room.

 

She opens the small cabinet where she keeps her clothes and pulls out a tank top and worn but soft shorts, which is what she prefers to wear to bed but now she’s wondering if she should put more clothes on with Murphy here. Well, it isn’t like she has much else, unless she wants to wear her pants to bed again, which she certainly does not. She’ll just get under the covers before he comes in and she’ll kick him out of her room before she gets out of the bed in the morning, and that should be fine, she decides.

 

Raven quickly takes her things off and puts her night clothes on, uses her bathroom and runs a brush through her loose hair, then climbs under the covers in the dark, a little amused when her pillows smell more like Murphy than something belonging to her. It’s a comforting scent, but kind of funny when she thinks about how he was only in her bed once but still managed to leave an impression behind. Actually, when she thinks about it, if that doesn’t sum up his personality, she doesn’t know what does.

 

She hears his knock at her door and calls him in, and when he enters she can tell he’s got a pair of sweatpants in his hands. He sits on the bed and removes his shoes and socks and then stands to unzip his jeans.

 

“Hey! There’s no naked in my room unless it’s me! Don’t get naked in here!” Raven squeaks.

 

Murphy laughs at her. “Relax, Reyes, I’m keeping my underwear on so you won’t see a thing. But I _am_ taking my shirt off because earlier it got hot in here and I couldn’t throw off the blankets without uncovering you, too.” He turns his back to her and pulls his t-shirt off, then slides the jeans down, and he’s right, his underwear stays on, although maybe she shouldn’t be watching to make sure, since she’s seeing a little more than she usually does, and then he steps into the sweatpants and ties them at his hips.

 

Raven narrows her eyes at him as he climbs into the bed and stretches out on his back. “Still, you could have gotten dressed in your own room.”

 

“Well, about that… technically I’m in between rooms right now. These are actually Bellamy’s pants since I went to his room to get them. He’s easier to sneak up on than you’d think… Anyway, Emori and I broke up last week, so the room is hers now.”

 

“What? Oh, Murphy, I’m so sorry! Are you okay? Is she okay? Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Oh my god, it’s not because we touched the damn cube, is it?” Raven pats his arm sympathetically and searches his face to see how he’s feeling about this. She can’t believe he didn’t tell her earlier, she could have been commiserating with him by now.

 

“It’s okay, and I think we’re both coming to terms with it quicker than we expected. I mean, I won’t say anything to betray her privacy, but we did have a few issues that this cube situation did bring to a head. I think I might actually be a bit to blame for why she hasn’t been talking to _you_ though, sorry about that.”

 

“What do you mean, did I do something to make her mad that I don’t know about?” Raven frowns at the possibility.

 

Murphy props his head on his hand, leaning up on his elbow and facing her. “I’m about to make a fool of myself here, so pay attention because you’ll like this part. Emori was a little upset that morning she found us at the window, but more because I’d left the room without telling her than anything else. She hadn’t really believed I’d been having bad nightmares the first week because I’d get up and go beat on the heavy bag instead of trying to sleep in there, and I didn’t want to disturb her. I was frustrated because I couldn’t sleep, I was having that awful recurring memory of you getting shot so I was confused about whether you still hated me, which led me to stay away from you, which led to worse sleep… I got a little desperate, alright, and I didn’t want Emori to be jealous of me basically telling her I wanted to go and sleep with you instead of her, so I asked her if you could come sleep in our room and I’d sleep in the middle of the bed. I was _trying_ to show her that it was literally just sleep, but she got the idea I was asking for a threesome with you and then I made it worse by saying you had already agreed, even though you hadn’t, because I was sure you’d be as desperate as me for some rest. She thought we’d been plotting behind her back or something. Yeah...that got out of hand.”

 

Raven bursts out laughing. “You _are_ such an idiot, Murphy! If you had only told me, I could have talked to her and straightened it right out.”

 

“I might have, but she and I were caught up in arguing, and Bellamy, trying to be helpful - for which I don’t blame him since we were both in such bad shape - he came over and talked to Emori to try and convince her to let you and I sleep together, can you believe that? Man I would have liked to be a fly on _that_ wall!” Murphy grins at her before continuing. “But him getting more involved sort of pushed us to discuss a few other things, then she told me that she had spoken with you about the cube, and she wanted us to try to connect with it. And I got the impression from her that you approved of that, so I was just kind of a mess and avoided you even though I knew we’d both feel better if we could just touch.”

 

Her eyes widen in denial. “No, I never said anything like that. We did talk about the cube once but it was because she asked me some questions about how it worked, and she never said anything about wanting to use it again, with you or anybody else. I would _never_ support that, Murphy, least of all on you. Jesus, you’ve got two really fucked up sets of memories in your head already and it’s a daily struggle, of course you can’t take any more! I’m sorry she gave you the impression I was onboard with that, because I never would be.”

 

Murphy ran his hand over his face.“That’s… a relief, actually. Thanks for clearing that up.”

 

“You know, I think we’ve all been suffering unnecessarily from a big lack of communication.” Raven leans forward and grasps Murphy’s hand tightly. “Let’s just make a deal that you and me are going to make better attempts at talking before things get so ridiculous from now on, okay?”

 

She’s pleased to see him nod in agreement. “I bet Emori wants to get all this cleared up too, and then you two can work it all out.”

 

“Nah, that’s not what I want anymore, and I don’t think she does either. We both said too many things we can’t take back, and this all just uncovered some things we should have dealt with before, anyway. I’m always going to care what happens to her, but we’ve both changed and that’s okay too.”

 

Raven squeezes his hand, hoping that both her friends would get through this without too much sadness. “In that case, I’ll just say that I’m glad that you seem to be doing okay with it. You’re both my friends, so I’m gonna be trying not to step on anybody’s toes, but even if we didn’t have this weird painful memory thing to work out right now, you can always talk to me if you need to.”

 

She rolls onto her back, though still holding Murphy’s hand, and thinks about everything that’s happened lately. Things probably would have worked out a little better if only they had just talked sooner. At the very least they’d have each gotten some better sleep and she wouldn’t have felt so mad at him for avoiding her. It would be nice if things weren’t always so complicated, but that’s not what they’ve got. She decides her brain is tired of thinking and she wants to lighten the heavier mood, so she wiggles down hastily and then sticks her cold feet between Murphy’s warm ones.

 

“Jesus, Raven! How the fuck are your feet so cold?”

 

“Just stay still and let me suck all that heat out of you. It’s a new rule for my bed. Anyone who wants to sleep here has to agree to warm up whoever’s colder.”

 

“I suppose it’s a small price to pay to sleep in a comfortable bed here instead of on Bellamy’s floor. Your room does smell nicer than his does, which is a bonus, but I’m gonna have to get his list of rules and compare it to yours to find out who’s really giving me a bargain.”

 

Raven huffs out a laugh at him. “We both know that even at my most pretentious and domineering, you’d still rather put up with me than make yourself readily available for one of Bellamy’s spur of the moment I’m-so-disappointed-in-you lectures or worse, one of the you’re-not-living-up-to-your-potential ones.”

 

“All very true, which probably means you’re stuck with me. Now roll over and let’s go to sleep, I’m tired.” Murphy pulls the blankets up higher and rubs his feet along hers to check for any remaining cold spots.

 

Raven shifts closer and nuzzles her head onto his shoulder, and he can just make out what she mumbles against his skin. “And people think _I’m_ the bossy one…”

 

*********************************

 

As the days pass by, they fall into a relaxed pattern. Since they’re both getting sleep, things are easier with each other, and both she and Murphy get back on a similar schedule with the rest of their friends. She joins them for mealtimes again, although Murphy is more sporadic. Raven catches up on the things she let slide during the last month of mental fog, and she resumes her self-defense lessons with Echo. Bellamy’s in a much better mood since he’s not so worried or running circles around the Ring at three AM, and Raven makes a point to seek out Emori so they can reconnect too. Their chat is a little awkward since she doesn’t fully understand why Murphy and Emori broke up, and what, if any, role she played in that, but the conversation is sincere and she leaves feeling pleased that Emori doesn’t seem unhappy and promised her that she’d start coming back to the workshop soon. Overall, it feels like things are finally back to normal, except Murphy is kind of her roommate now.

 

So it’s a surprise when Murphy comes into her workshop to tell her he cleaned out one of the smaller quarters down the hall from hers and wants them to sleep apart to test out whether they have any nightmares again.

 

She makes a displeased face at his suggestion. “That sounds like a horrible idea to me. Why do I want to give myself nightmares that were actually real if I don’t have to?”

 

Murphy scowls at her and shakes his head. “Raven, sleeping together every night isn’t an actual solution, it’s just a temporary remedy. I mean, we can’t assume we’re gonna sleep in the same bed for the rest of our lives, can we, and what if this memory thing lasts that long? We’ve been up here three years already and eventually we _will_ get back down again. Have you even thought about how we’re going to deal with this problem in the future?”

 

“Honestly? No! It’s working right now, right? We’re both finally sleeping, things are back to normal, and I thought that’s what you wanted, but if you want to sleep somewhere else, fine.” Raven smacks the screwdriver she was using down on the table in anger. Why was he talking about this? Everything was working well, for a change, and he has to go and stir it all up. Typical fucking Murphy!

 

“No, I don’t _want_ to sleep somewhere else, but yeah, I think I probably _should_ . Unlike you, I’m looking ahead and I want to know how we can control the situation rather than letting it control us. How are we going to know how exactly this works if we don’t test it? We don’t know if it’s going to end, we don’t know if it’s going to get worse! We don’t even know why the fuck it _did this_ to us! Can we just sleep apart tonight and see how it goes, just to try and find some answers?”

 

“I said _fine_ ,” she snarls at him, her eyes blazing, and she gets up from her stool and storms out of the workshop, slamming the door behind her.

 

Murphy watches her go and kicks the stool in front of him, knocking it onto the floor. “Yeah… that went real fucking well.”

 

*******************************************

 

Raven lays in her bed that night, absolutely seething. She could have been sleeping for an hour or two already, but no, that fucking asshole had decided they should _sleep apart_ and _test the boundaries_ of their nightmares, just to see what happens, and she’d love nothing more than to just kick him in the shin right now. What the fuck was he thinking, suggesting this bullshit... So what if he was right, that she hadn’t really thought about the long-term solutions to this problem. That wasn’t exactly pressing, was it? Yeah, she could admit it might be selfish, but who the fuck would really say ‘sure, give me more of these nightmares’ when the other option was _not to have them_ ! The idiot _knows_ what’s happened to him, he knows what kind of hellish experiences he’s got in his own head. Why should he be mad at her for not wanting to feel and see everything he’s gone through, every time he’s been in pain and close to death? She doesn’t _want_ to think about all of the near misses and could-have-been situations where he didn’t escape or didn’t get better. Is that so wrong?

  


Murphy lays on the uncomfortably thin mattress, staring up at the underside of the empty bunk above him. Convincing Raven that this was a good idea had not exactly gone according to plan. He thought she’d want to examine this problem like she examines all the tech and gadgetry in her workshop, picking it apart until she understands how it works and makes it submit to her will, like everything and everyone eventually does. _Of course_ he doesn’t want another fucking experience of the awful things that have happened to her, that’s the last thing he ever wants, but he can’t assume that sleeping beside each other every night is always gonna prevent the nightmares, either. Eventually things will change, whether he wants it to or not. And that’s starting to become another aspect of this entire insane problem for him, the way they curl together in her bed with too familiar touches in the dark. Letting himself get used to that, to expecting that, to _wanting_ that, is just going to lead to another damn nightmare when it inevitably comes to an end, and for once, he’s trying to be prepared.

  


***********************************************

 

He gives up around four AM, after abruptly awaking in a cold sweat, realizing he’d experienced Raven’s terror at being caught at Mount Weather, being electrocuted a few times and getting her bone marrow viciously ripped out of her body. Fucking hell, their lives on Earth were just a damned horror show, and she went through that one not long after the gunshot wound he caused. He looks down at his hands and realizes they’re shaking. Yeah, she was right. Why should they relive these memories if they don’t have to, he _is_ a fucking idiot. He pulls off the sheet and walks silently down the hall to her room, sweatpants already on and not bothering to knock.

 

It’s dark but as soon as he nears the bed he can tell she’s in the middle of one. She’s laying tucked on her right side, her head on the pillow he normally uses, but her body is stiff and her eyes are moving quickly behind her closed eyelids, silent tears falling down her cheeks. He calls out her name but gets no response, so he climbs in beside her and pulls her to him, his forehead close to hers as he tries harder to wake her up. He grabs her bare arms and shakes her enough to make an impression, raises his voice close to her ear, but even before he started, he just has a feeling that nothing he does will take her out of the nightmare until it finishes.

 

His intentions might have been good, they have to figure this out, but seeing her caught up like this and knowing that it’s his fault is tough to swallow. He doesn’t know what she’s seeing right now, but inevitably it’ll be bad, and there’s an extra layer of guilt to know that while she’s suffering, he’s actually feeling calmer now that she’s in his arms and he can see her, touch her, smell her, and _know_ that she’s alive and with him. He rubs his hands up and down her back, stroking gently over her hip as he thinks about how she probably has a scar there from Mount Weather. Everything in these memories are horrible, but he thinks the worst thing of all might be that feeling in his gut when he first wakes up from one and doesn’t know for certain if she’s alive or dead unless he goes looking for her so he can see for himself. At least this time, he’ll be right in front of her when she finally opens her eyes.

 

******************************************

 

Raven jolts awake, eyes flying wide open and a gasp in her throat. She feels disoriented and her stomach hurts, like it always does after Murphy’s memories play in her head. But this time there’s hands caressing her back and a low voice whispering reassurance in her ear and her thudding heart doesn’t feel as loud. She closes her eyes again, focusing on slow and steady breaths, and one of his hands comes up to her face, carefully freeing all the hair clinging to her tear-stained cheeks and pushing it back behind her ears and wiping away the wetness with his thumb.

 

When she feels more in control of herself, she opens her eyes to find Murphy watching her closely, concern written all over the sharp angles of his face. She doesn’t know when he came back into their room, but his presence makes the visions easier to bear, and she’s grateful he’s there. Although his arms are around her, she wants to be closer, pressed against him so she can hear his heartbeat and he can make her feel warm again. She licks her lips and tries to find her voice. “Can we get under the covers? I feel cold.”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Murphy glides his hands down her arms. “Lemme get you some water first, though. You were crying a long time - you’ll have a headache if you don’t drink.” He climbs out and brings her the cup that was on her nightstand, and then he opens the chest nearby and pulls out another blanket, which he spreads on her side of the bed. When she’s finished, he puts the cup back down and lays on his back, making a space for her on his left side, which is her favorite spot. He spreads his arm out and she moves quickly, fitting herself alongside him and laying her head on his chest while he wraps his arms around her and pulls the covers up. She lets out a little moan of pleasure at how warm he is, despite his lack of a shirt, and feels his laugh vibrate through his chest under her ear.

 

“Admit it,” Murphy quietly teases, “you keep me around for my body heat.”

 

“It is a _very_ nice perk.” She stretches her arm out across his stomach and tucks her fingers under his side, and as she hoped, his right hand starts to trace patterns along her bicep and down to her wrist and back again. “Do you want to start?” she asks him.

 

“Tonight it was you at Mount Weather,” he begins, “and I didn’t know very much of this story before, so it was mostly a terrifying surprise. You got caught, but you blew up what you needed to in the process. You fought back really hard, but they strapped you down and then they shocked you and you couldn’t fight back any more. I want to rip their fucking heads off, and Monty, Harper and Abby all had to watch what they did to you. They probably still have nightmares about it.” His arms tighten with tension for a bit, but she feels him take some deep breaths to control his anger at what she went through. Murphy shakes his head, trying to clear out the metallic whirring of the medical tools they used. “Anyway, you know what happened. Does it still hurt you?”

 

“When we were on Earth, my hip got painful sometimes. Abby said it was probably some arthritis setting in. It’s not as bad up here, since I don’t feel any weather changes, but there is a scar. I try not to think about it.” She tilts her chin up so she can see him. “I could feel you get angry just now, but you did a good job calming yourself down. Do you think it’s getting easier to deal with the memories?”

 

“The only thing that makes it easier is having you close. When I wake up by myself, the rage is really strong, almost overwhelming, and the only options are to hit it out, which helps but doesn’t erase it, or to come to you and do this, have you in my arms. Touching you makes it fade away quicker. Does it work like that for you?”

 

“When I wake up, there are feelings of anger, but that’s not the strongest one for me. Mostly I feel an immense panic, like it’s hard to breath, my stomach hurts and I feel like I need to throw up. It gets more bearable when I’m near you but there’s definitely a feeling of the closer, the better, for me. Like, us holding hands would help a little, but me plastered against you and feeling your skin and heartbeat is what _really_ helps.”

 

Murphy smirks down at her. “You’d think they might have put a warning label on that cube, huh?”

 

Raven laughs unexpectedly. She feels an overpowering affection for him in that moment, that he can make her laugh despite the terrible situation they’re dealing with, and she impulsively leans up and places a gentle kiss along his jaw before settling back down against his side.

 

He’s quiet for a moment, then finds his voice. “What was yours about tonight?”

 

“There were two this time. I’ve not experienced it like that before.” Her demeanor is more subdued as she explains. “The first dream was you, by yourself, in the lighthouse bunker on Becca’s island. It started out nice - you had food, you had alcohol, it was comfortable there, and it was safe, finally. But then you got locked in for such a long time, and eventually you felt like you couldn’t take it anymore and considered… well, you picked up the gun. That struggle was hard to watch, to feel, even though I could understand what you were going through at the time. It felt like you were really going to do it until that last second.”

 

“It was too hard to go back to isolation after being on Earth. I spent about four years in a tiny damn cell on the Ark and survived that, they sent me down as a criminal, and then I could barely even last for eighty some days in a bunker.” Murphy scoffs and shakes his head in frustration.

 

“Hey, no, there’s no reason to feel embarrassed about that. One thing I think we’ve all learned by now - we can’t do it alone. Luckily, we don’t have to. I know _I_ don’t want to go through all this alone. But back then, you already weren’t in a good place with yourself when you got to that bunker.” Raven hesitates a moment, then continues. “Things are different now though, right?”

 

“Things are very different, yeah. Isolation, desperation, feeling out of control - those were all on my mind in that bunker. But I have things I don’t want to give up now, things to fight for that I didn’t have then. You don’t have to worry that I could go back to that place mentally, I don’t even worry about that now.” Murphy nudges her head with his chin. “That dream is different, there’s no trauma in there caused by other people - it’s just me. Giving myself trauma, I guess. Was the other one like that too?”

 

She’s glad he can’t see her wince. “No, the other one was about you, in Polis, with that fake Commander.” Raven doesn’t even want to say her name. “There were bad things happening to you there. This one was different though, too. It wasn’t like a movie playing, it was more like flashes of your thoughts or hearing people talk, and the things I was seeing were blurrier and hazy. You were the focus, as always, but I saw Abby, I saw Clarke, there was a _lot_ of blood...it was more like seeing photographs, I think. I don’t really know how to describe it, except to say that it felt more closed off to me than everything else that’s come through so far.”

 

“Good. Maybe that’s because I buried a lot of that so deep that it’s never coming back out again.” She understands he’s making it clear he doesn’t want to talk about this one, and she doesn’t have any reason to push. She saw enough, and she’s willing to let it stay hidden unless it becomes a problem for him.

 

“Do you… do you ever wonder if we’re the lucky ones because we’re still alive, or if maybe we’re the unlucky ones because of everything we’ve been through?” Raven swallows hard, not sure she knows the answer to this herself.

 

His hand along her arm stills, and she untucks her hand from his side and twines her fingers with his, resting along his bare hip. “I think… I think we’re both fighters, and we should be proud of that. When there’s more stuff that you want to keep than the stuff that brings you pain, then it’s worth it. You gotta keep surviving so there can be more good stuff, and you just hope that when the end does come, that there’s more good than bad.”

 

“Murphy, that’s...exactly it. You’re right, what we want to keep is what matters, what counts. I need to remember that when our memories feel like they’re taking over.” She’s quiet for a few beats, then looks up at him. “You know, you’re way more sentimental than you let on. I’ve suspected it for years but now I have proof - underneath that snarky, gruff and grumpy exterior, there really is a beating heart,” she teases.

 

“Don’t go spreading that around. I have a reputation to protect.” He warns her sternly, but he can protest about it all he wants - she’s known for a long time that he might not care about a lot of people, but once he does open up, he’s protective and loyal, and she’s lucky to have him in her corner.

 

“Thanks for not staying away all night.” Raven nudges him with her toes. He pokes her back and she falls asleep feeling safe and relieved he’s alongside her once more.

 

******************************************

 

Six months later, and neither of them have brought up sleeping apart again. Although she knows Murphy made a damn good point about them needing to know more about what the cube did to them, she’s just not ready to give up the comfort of his presence. Instead, Raven’s thrown herself into a project with Monty, after one of their brainstorming sessions resulted in a new idea of how to fuel the rocket to get back down to Earth. They’ve been working ceaselessly on it, and most nights she either falls into bed, exhausted, or Murphy comes into the workshop when it gets too late and drags her back to their room. She’s tired, but in a productive way, and overall things on the Ring are running smoothly. Emori and Murphy seem to be getting past any lingering awkwardness, and Raven likes having someone else to share her mechanical interests with when Emori comes into the workshop again. In fact, the only thing that’s really a source of agitation at all lately is that no one seems to believe she’s only sleeping with Murphy, not _sleeping_ with Murphy. It’s not something that constantly comes up, but Echo and Harper tease her about their relationship, and even Monty has made a few comments during their hours together. She might ask Bellamy about it, but he’s been spending more time with Echo lately, so she doesn’t want to bring up anything that’ll make him broody or put his focus back on her, since he deserves not to be caught up in everyone else’s drama for a change.

 

One afternoon in a workout session with Echo, she admittedly gets frustrated trying to learn a particular move that Echo was teaching her. She felt so angry at her inability to do it correctly that she threw some of the weight equipment across the room and cursed til she was out of breath. Echo waited until she was done, then laughed and told her to go get naked with Murphy and work out all that tension, and before Raven could respond, she’d walked out of the room. Raven’s temper rose even higher, and she stormed off herself, just looking to pick a fight.

 

She found him in the third spot she checked, laying on their bed like he owned the place and reading a book. He turned towards her lazily when she barged in, smacked the door shut and started pacing in the small space.

 

“Who pissed you off?” He asked with a smirk.

 

“Don’t you start with me, Murphy! Do you know all our friends think that we’re sleeping together?,” her voice rose higher in consternation.

 

“Well, considering we _are_ sleeping together, and have been every night for over half a year, _and_ we basically live in the same room, I’m not sure I’m seeing the confusion here.” His mocking tone just serves to infuriate her further.

 

Raven glares at him, eyes blazing. “Damn it, don’t play dumb with me either! You know what I mean!”

 

Murphy drops the book and sits on the side of the bed, facing her as she paces. “So you’re mad because you don’t know why they assume we’re having sex?”

 

“Yes! Wait, I don’t know! It’s confusing!” She stops pacing and leans back against the wall, tucking her hair behind her ear and exhaling loudly in frustration.

 

He stands up slowly, head tilted slightly and eyes narrowed as he watches her with a calculating look on his face. As he steps purposely across the floor towards her, Raven has the unexpected feeling she’s being cornered by him, and there’s a thrill that’s more than just curiosity running through her. He does crowd into her space, sliding a hand along her bare hip, right where her tank top rides up. She looks up at him in surprise, her eyes wide.

 

“You can’t think of _any_ reason why they’d come to that conclusion, Raven? Are you _sure_ ?” Murphy growls as he edges even closer, and then his free hand cups her face and angles it higher. She only has a second to glimpse the hungry glint in his eyes because then he’s kissing her, and it’s gentle enough that she can move away if she wants, but it’s _so consuming_ and there’s no way she can do anything but part her lips for him and slither her hands up his chest with a sudden rush of need. When he feels her respond, he takes it as an invitation to angle her head back farther and deepen the kiss and clench her hip tighter, and she hums in the back of her throat, feeling something inside her unlock and break open, the intensity of it pulsating through her veins and making her lightheaded and weak in the knees. When he tears his lips away from hers to stare at her intently, she gasps and opens her dazed eyes to regard him in shock.

 

“ _Oh_ …,” she struggles for breath as she tries to calm the raging emotions he’s provoked, “how did I not _know_ this?”

 

Murphy exhales a husky laugh along her ear and she shivers against him. “Believe it or not, Raven, you don’t know _everything_.” And she’d reply with a scathing retort, she would, but then his mouth is sucking along her neck and she can’t think of anything at all except the absolute certainty of how much she wants him and how long she’s been so blind to it.  

  


***************************

 

Later, when they’re both tangled together in their bed, sweaty and satisfied, she lays there in astonishment at how she’s managed to be unaware of something that now feels so obvious. When she tells him, he laughs and teases her that if he’d known it would only take one kiss for her to come to her senses, then he would have done it a long time ago.

 

Raven shifts on top of him, an adoring look settling across her face as she leans down and kisses him fiercely before shamelessly telling him, “Murphy, if I’d had any idea about us at all, I’d have beaten you to it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've turned this fic into a series because I have a lot more to say in this particular universe. I have the plan worked out in my head but have not started to write it yet. I have some other stories that I want to finish or start before I do the follow up here, but I *will* start writing the next part of this story during the way-too-long hiatus. Thanks for reading, hope you like it, feel free to comment here or on tumblr @easilydistractedbyfanfic at any time about Murven because I'm deep in the hole for them and like company. I'm new to writing but have been reading fanfic for thousands of years. So much more appreciation to the authors now that I'm trying that aspect out myself! Thanks for reading & let me know what you think!
> 
> Is anybody else reading everything into the soccer ball in that last finale frame, by the way? 'Cause I sure am.  
> ETA - this amazing art was made by tumblr user @kurose-riku, inspired by this story!  
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/170152452@N02/46967991835/in/dateposted-public/)
> 
> [](https://www.flickr.com/photos/170152452@N02/47884075101/in/dateposted-public/)


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